Friday, September 30, 2016

Ep. 39: Don't Think

This week’s theme is definitely confusion. Josh and Emily get lost in the overworld, and it only gets worse from there! Hang on tight as both hosts practice throwing non sequiturs about marshmallows, roadkill, and of course, that thing that goes doink. Also, prepare yourself for a super special intermission featuring a super special patron submission! It’s so awesome it’ll make you forget how hopelessly lost we all are.

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This episode was made possible by:
Game Track Title Composer(s)
Lagrange Point Machine City Akio Dobashi, Noriyuki Takahashi, Katsuhiko Suzuki, Atsushi Fujio
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night Dracula's Castle Michiru Yamane
Batman Ending Theme Naoki Kodaka
Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon Sunset - Want You (Tosa) Shigeru Araki, Yusuke Kato, Saiko Miki, Yasumasa Kitagawa
Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon Kai Highway Shigeru Araki, Yusuke Kato, Saiko Miki, Yasumasa Kitagawa
Pressure Cookier Title Theme Unknown
Bomberman B-Daman Stage Theme 4 Kenyuu Nukita

...and listeners like YOU.


  1. Hey, J&Em!

    #Emilyain'tanecromancer: She's not. No chance. However, I have heard rumors that late at night, she has been seen in the thick of the thickets, eviscerating eggplants to examine the entrails, and summoning the spirits of celery stalks. Yes, I have reason to believe she is a Vegromancer.

    But hey, that's better than Josh. He's a Sentimental non-sequimancer.

    I actually watched Tim Burton's Batman in the theater opening weekend. And it is a little known fact that the movie was initially rated 'R'. I didn't find this out until later. But when I saw it, I remember that the Joker killed the plastic surgeon. When I saw it later on VHS, that part of the scene was cut out. It took me a long while to find verification that this actually happened.

    I know about Alaska's roadkill program. I have some friends from Alaska who lived in a community house that received APBs from the police whenever a trucker would hit a moose in their county. They would go out and get the moose and prep it for distribution.

    Incidentally, the reason people might be squeamish about the thought of eating roadkill is that most people's image of roadkill is what they see at the side of the road, guts splayed out and filthy. We're so far removed from our food sources that the closest most of us get to meat is the sanitized, neatly packaged parcels at the grocery store(if not already prepped and frozen in a fancily designed cardboard box). A trip to a rendering plant would be enough to make most folks sick.

    Inspector Claw, that VGM Karaoke was so good! Great lyrics and good song choice. Props for being the Proto-patron-karaokeer. I'm still in process with a VGMK of my own, so this is a good impetus to get moving on it!

    Emily's castle would be a giant library with books that would come out and fly at you. Emily would throw second guesses, and periodically turn to stone as a migraine renders her immobile for a few seconds. If you fire a question at her during this time, your controls will become random due to your character being temporarily confused.

    Emily, this is a good time to mention that if I were a stranger, I wouldn't notice anything strange about your migraine-affected conversations. Having listened to you folks for literally hours, I would probably notice if you were off, but it's not very noticeable in general. I totally understand how you feel though, because I used to get those types of migraines. It's kind of like trying to pretend one is sober when they've had a few, except without the pleasant feeling.

    Platform Studies is a popular series. Do a search on Platform Studies on Amazon; there are at least 5 books in the series other than Racing the Beam. "I am Error" is a phenomenal book they did about the Famicom/NES. It's densely packed, but as a video game nerd who still remembers the clock speeds, available onscreen colors and total color palettes of all the 8 and 16-bit systems, it's riveting information.

    I had an Atari 2600. My Harley-riding uncle gave it to my brother and me after his first marriage ended. There were some great games for the system; to this day, Yar's Revenge is one of my all-time favorites. I encourage everyone to go play it on emulation. The gameplay is so well-balanced, it's just about perfect. And Josh: it's not a sluggish game. It's very intense.

    They made a fighting game based on the soap opera based on Smesh's life. It was called "Super Smesh Bros". Cheerio!

  2. I can tell when Emily is in migraine mode because there is a little Master System tinge of melancholia to her voice. :(


  3. Sorry about the confusion involving track title. You got the right track! Love the coincidental Goemon double play. Unfortunately, I don't know, nor am I related to, anyone named Cassie... Anyway, all the N64 Goemon games have excellent music, even the weird Japan-only "Not Mario Party" one! Check them out sometime, especially the second one, Goemon's Great Adventure. It's easily the best 2.5D platformer on the N64.

    Man, Haju sure knows how to pick'em. That was a Bonk jam! Silky smooth synths like that are a rarity on the SNES.

  4. My personal boss form sits in a loft in the upper corner of a screen perched on a long red leather therapist's couch. He throws question-marks down at the hero. Standard attacks will not work on me, but if you hit one of my projectile question-marks, you can deflect the question back at me, which will confuse me and throw me off-guard, causing me to fall out of my couch onto the floor at the player's level where I am suddenly vulnerable to standard attacks.

    I have a special move where, using SNES mode 7 graphics, I throw a bottle of ink at the screen and fold it in half, so that there is a mirrored screen with a Rorschach blot obscuring the middle. You then can't tell which side of the screen is the real me, and which is the mirrored reflection. I shoot spirals of question-marks as I dart around the screen halves.

    Before I reach my final form, there is a close up of my face in a text box. I break the 4th wall and taunt you, the player, based on whatever information I can scrounge off of your save data.
    "I see you have spent 57 hours playing this game. That's at least 57 hours you haven't put towards developing your love life! MWAHAHA!"
    "You have died 128 times. I would think you would have learned by now that you'll never defeat me! MWAHAHA!"

    Once in my final boss form, the gameplay switches to multiple choice as I ask increasing challenging existential questions wherein it is unclear if I am asking them of the game character or the human player. If I'm not satisfied with your answers, the battle starts over from the beginning.


      Best hashtag yet. Well played, Jungle TVP! Does it make me old that I still desperately want to call it a pound sign?

    2. mmmm... textured vegetable protein...

  5. Vegromancer vs. Sentimental non-sequimancer FTW

    My #SoulWeapon is a Chipotle burrito with extra white rice, black beans, fajitas, barbacoa, extra green tomatillo salsa, cheese, guac, and lettuce.

  6. I go for the fajita veggies and guac, and make sure I get both hot and medium sauce for the perfect balance of heat and flavor. No dairy.

    Oh, and if you don't get a Mr. Pibb to go with that, I WILL EAT YOUR QUARTER. Game over!